I thought I would take some time to share with you a few “hosting horror stories” of mine (and hopefully make you laugh along the way). Every time I entertain at home, everything may LOOK “picture perfect” on instagram but we all know that “real life” is anything BUT.
I often joke that there is my “blog life” vs. my “real life” and I am sure many other bloggers can relate to this. H&T represents me pretty much to a tee – but it’s censored too – so today, I’m pulling away from the censorship a bit and sharing a few “now-funny” stories that hopefully you can relate to. These should also reassure you that while I may go a little overboard from time to time – my entertaining is not always perfect and I hope H&T inspires you to entertain even if it’s “not your thing”.
Before I begin the horror stories, might I suggest that the most important item you can own when hosting is an apron - this also goes hand-in-hand with a sense of humor (you’ll see why later).
You might feel like a 1950s housewife or french maid for that matter, BUT aprons are absolutely necessary when running around the kitchen no matter how ridiculous your roomates/bffs/beau might think you look. These are especially important to throw on when you’re already dressed for the party – no one wants sauce or booze on your new dress or summer whites, right?
A sense of humor is also necessary because if your luck is anything like mine, something will inevitably go “wrong”. After much entertaining in my home, this is a funny truth I’ve just come to accept. Normally when something goes “wrong” in my hosting adventures, it has to do with my clumsiness or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Alas, here are my top 3 horror stories of the moment.
#1. My 25th Birthday Party with Shamu
This was an afternoon wine tasting party that a few of my BFFs graciously helped me host. While the party consisted of 40+ of my closest GFs who never held an empty wine glass, more pink and green than Lilly herself owned and my favorite surprise cake to date – it got off to a rocky start.
I had just purchased a new glass drink dispenser and while were early morning mixing the punch – the dispenser took a turn for the worse. There I was, halfway ready (hair still wet), stirring the drink and the next thing I realize, our entire kitchen in covered in girly punch, glass in the garbage disposal and one not-so-happy-camper (read: ME). I am still not even sure what happened but that dispenser has forever earned the name “Shamu” because the only way to describe the accident is referring to the killer whale himself jumping out of his Sea World home through the glass.
Luckily, for the most part, the kitchen counters were clear of party favor items but I stood there in shock – looked at my friends and said “no one ever make fun of me again for getting ready too early”, grabbed my keys and drove back to VA to return it. I won’t say where I purchased the dispenser because I have not had a problem since then BUT I will say that they gave me a brand new one and I am still nervous every time it is put to use. Lessons learned? Prep early so you still have time to run back to the liquor store when all your ingredients end up on the floor and all over you. Oh yes, and a wear an apron.
#2. Summer Cookout Cabinets
Before my BFF moved out on her own (#hategrowingup), we used to throw a summer cookout each year consisting of Burgers, Beats & Booze (yes, that’s what we called it). It was quite fun and often too crowded but a tradition we maintained…even if our house smelled like burgers for a month after and we had to beg guy friends/boyfriends to help with the keg and grill for 100 of our closest friends (thanks boys!).
First, I might say that this was prior to Neat Method taking over my kitchen so the cabinets were a bit of a mess (read more on that HERE). I was completely ready in my red sundress, wedges, face on and curls in tact (NOT wearing an apron as luck would have it). I opened the pantry cabinets for God knows what and BOOM – a full bottle of olive oil broke all over me, my dress and the kitchen. Glass + olive oil is not exactly the best combination (not to mention that it’s expensive). Lessons learned? Organize your cabinets AND wear an apron.
#3. End of Summer Shrimp Boil Boozy Shakes
The last of my recent horror stories was at my End of Summer Summer Shrimp Boil (longest name ever, I’m aware). Aside from the fact that I didn’t think about how I would feasibly drain the GIGANTIC & HEAVY pot of shrimp, corn and potatoes (thankfully my roomate Courtney came to the rescue) - this evening did almost go off without any glitches, almost.
The real incident was the end of the evening where my clumsiness came into play (and perhaps one too many glasses of yes-you-guessed-it-vino didn’t help either). I was preparing dessert (Key Lime Pie Boozy Shakes), and while the shakes might of looked “instagram ready”; they caused quite a ruckus once again in my invincible kitchen.
I didn’t realize that my blender container failed to have the bottom attached or to put it simply; wasn’t put on correctly. Therefore, what I thought was a little “leak” (oh hi, milk all over my counters) turned out to be the exact opposite. When I turned the blender on..well, there went the first batch of boozy shakes – spraying all over me and the counter. This time, I was wearing an apron (guess I learned this lesson by now) and my new white dress was spared. Second lesson learned? Triple check the blender before hitting “pulse”.
That’s all the hosting horror stories I have for now, but I will be sure to make a point (if y’all enjoy these?) to share more of them as they come – because Lord knows I will have them. I guess the important thing is that I can laugh about them now. Oh and nothing went horribly wrong at Pizza & Prosecco so perhaps my luck is changing?
Have a great weekend!